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  • Mark Parker

Criminal History - Lock me up & Throw Away the Key!!!

Updated: Sep 18, 2022

Over the years there appear to be two different types of "National Police Certificates" that are worded slightly different in their presentation of offences & one includes additional offences. I haven't been able to identify any reason for the difference as I have always required them for similar purposes & it has been a bit of a case of pot luck which one I get as they have alternated over the years. Anyways, I've included an example of both. Neither of which are recent enough to include my non-conviction for "Disorderly Behaviour" & "Property Damage" to the flag pole in Victoria Square in 2021.


Type #01:

Type #02:




To briefly provide comment in relation to the above which I should tidy up once I get time...


I believe...


The first count of "Larceny & Property Damage" was most likely in relation to an occasion when Mum & Dad locked me in my room. So I climbed out the window, took the keys & pissed off with the car. As I reversed it into a stobey-pole they had to proceed with charges in order to claim insurance & figured it wouldn't come up in my record anyways.


& the second "Larceny" presumably relates to an incident where as teenagers we came across a truck with pallets of wine on it. Although it was shit wine we desperately needed alcohol & proceeded to unload as much as we could.


Resist Police & Refuse Name & Address was a bit of a BS story & BS charge. Yeah I guess I did it in the mildest form. However, that cop was a CUNT & nearly cost my life by threatening to arrest me for breach of bail if I didn't drive directly back to Whyalla with no sleep. Of course when it went to court the lying cunt flipped the story & claimed he told me to sleep it off at my grandparents which is what he told me he'd arrest me for. I made it from Hawker to the pink lake Pt Augusta where I fell asleep behind the wheel tore a lamp post out before mounting the embankment net to the lake then back across the road & wedged the old VE Valiant under the Morgan to Whyalla water pipeline!!!


Pretty sure "Drive at Dangerous Speed" was another BULLSHIT charge from a CUNT cop after another minor accident.


"Producing Cannabis"... Yup, I was a drug addict & grew some plants. Whopdy-fucken-doo. Guilty as charged.


"offensive Behaviour"... That could be BS but I'm unsure & have always been "inappropriate & unacceptable" in someone or another's eyes so it's entirely possible.


"Hinder or Obstruct Authorized Officer / Producing Cannabis"... Yup, like I said I was a drug addict & if Officers weren't authorised to kick my door down for something as innocent as growing a fucken plant it would never have happened!!!




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