This post is one of numerous subsections of my: BIOGRAPHY - Who am, where do I come from & WTF am I about?
This is an incredibly complex & significant period of my life that is covered in thorough detail in Standing up to Latino Grooves [2019. However, I will do my best in accurately piecing together the the most devastating pieces of the puzzle of how the beautiful life I'd built was stomped all over by the most dangerous & truely evil person I've encountered.
In 2010 I meet the one true psychopath I've ever encountered Rosie (Rosalie) Bourne who despite countless warning bells I ignorantly felt sorry enough for to allow into my life. Of course this will prove the most costly & painful mistake of my life. I don't give a fuck if people judge me for how much detail I'm about to disclose about this psychopath. Rosie Bourn is by far the most DANGEROUS creature I have ever encountered & belongs in a jail cell for public safety. I don't care if people call me a "Dog" for stating the fact that I am willing to testify to my experience with Rosie Bourne in any cases where human rights & social justice have been violated throughout her career as a "Social Worker". Furthermore, I recommend that the Australian Association of Social Workers review every decision Rosie has made in the interests of social justice especially in any cases where allegations of human rights violations have been made by clients or other human service workers.
Aside from a passion for dance & her being one year behind me in our Social Worker degrees Rosie & I were absolutely nothing alike. It's actually embarrassing that I allowed her into my life given the fact that I had clear evidence that Rosie was the most deranged mental case I'd ever encountered right from the start. Not just a little bit, but in ways that were so frightening that she is the first & only person I have ever made provide me with verbal consent prior to sex. The simple reason for this is that I was scared that she'd fuck me then claim date rape. However, it is difficult know where to even begin to describe the combination of red flags that lead me to feel that way.
As I've previously stated due to a combination of my personal experience including many beautiful loving connections with women who for different reasons weren't ever going to be you're traditional fairy tail "happily ever after" & the influence feminism had upon my critiques of institutions such as marriage being patriarchal institutions designed to severe labor based social structures - I wasn't even sure if I believed in traditional monogamous "relationships" & was very open minded in terms of exploring my sexuality which was something that I was very clear with Rosie about from the start. Rosie on the other hand was a tragically boring religious girl who had virtually no life experience who grew up in Burnside & wen to a private school where she developed delusional traditional patriarchal values surround relationships. I can't remember exactly what order I learned things in. However, Rosie was "saving herself for marriage", well at least pretending to as a component of a life that she would go to any lengths to fabricate. According to Rosie, she had in fact had sex three times when she was about 13-14 before she joined a "virgin club" in her private school & proceeded to lie to her closest friends for the following decade pretending to be a virgin. I was extremely uncomfortable with this for many reasons particularly as I considered honesty to be one of the most fundamental values associated with my recovery from Alcoholism / Addiction.
Although a compliment in ways, the same complex qualities that I'd developed throughout my recovery which enabled me to learn more about Rosie in a matter of weeks than her closest friends knew after decades would later be used again me in the annihilation of the beautiful life I'd put my heart & soul in developing. The level of gaslighting & abuse Rosie later inflicted upon me whilst manipulating such morals & value systems against me would also create a tangled web of confusion full of paradoxes that took over half a decade for me to begin attempting to speak up about & an entire decade to come to the conclusion that I must do so in full detail.
The biggest compliment I used to consistently receive was meeting people then moments later having them suddenly pull themselves up mid sentence & say things like "omg, I can't believe I just told you that. I've only just met you & only two other people in the world know that about me". I'm not, never was a nor ever will be anywhere near perfect. However, despite being hopelessly shy & no good at getting in conversations, when I did, I don't know what it was but as a result of ongoing self development I'd become a relaxed, genuine & honest person who was trustworthy enough for strangers to tell anything. After years practicing compassion etc throughout the intimate privilege of walking by the sides of others throughout their personal development - who's gonna trust me now?
The biggest secrets I've had to keep have always been of others which has at times required a great deal of tact managing the complexities in maintaining faith of all parties involves. I've had several sets of close friends who were enemies & had to remain true to myself in serving the best interests of all parties involved in defusing situations that I just so happened to find myself in the middle of & knowing more than either party about. In the majority of cases where I've had conflict or experienced injustice at with or at the hands of others I've had to practice forgiveness privately. However, now I find myself in a position where I have to stand true to myself & place the welfare of all the beautiful people I've known ahead of the dangerous weak creatures who maliciously use my greatest qualities & deficits against me, whilst stomping over everything I love at my most vulnerable & pretending they're the victims. Sorry, but if people want to lie about themselves that's their business. Lying about me I can tolerate to a certain extent. However, lines have been crossed to the point that I have a duty of care to be completely transparent with me experience with a certain dangerous minority in order to offer my best to the rest of the world.
I made it very clear that if Rosie wanted to save herself for marriage that was completely fine. However, I had absolutely no intention of going without sex for anyone & although I was happy to be friends that I certainly wasn't going to leave myself sexually unfulfilled, nor was I interested in her delusional ideas of a relationship. Of course like most religious girls I've cum across who are "saving themselves for marriage" Rosie was more than happy to sit on my face & suck my cock. The fact that she didn't have a bad arse is actually probably one of the few reasons I allowed someone so dishonest back into my house often enough to "get to know her" or at least get caught up in the middle of the psychopathic cunts life of lies.
Over the same period that she must have told me 100times that she was "saving herself for marriage" Rosie told me all kinds of stories that I couldn't even begin to comprehend. Things like - how when she was a toddler she'd often wander off & find children in random front yards, start playing with them & then when the sun would go down their parents wouldn't know where she'd come from so they'd just end up making her a bed. She claimed that sometimes she'd stay for a couple of nights before she eventually found her way home. The horrific thing was that her parents didn't care enough to even ring the police or show any other sign of concern that one would expect from a normal loving family. Her parents never abused any of their children, they merely didn't care about their welfare to the point that not all of her sisters were as fortunate as Rosie in avoiding abuse. There were so many ways the complete void of conscience was through the whole family that I was a fool not to know what I was dealing with. Rather than recognising the fact that her entire family were almost completely void of any sign of consciences & running a mile. I used Rosie's stories of neglect as reasons to feel sorry for her & as excuses or explanations as to why she was so dishonest.
I couldn't comprehend growing up with family that didn't love me & being surrounded by the fake judgemental religious people she grew up with in her religious based privative school. Although I was extremely uncomfortable with the fact that Rosie possessed the exact opposite to virtually all the qualities I respect in others & aspire to myself - I felt sorry for Rosie in ways that I'd never felt sorry for anyone in my life. Therefore, I proceeded to make excuses for her behaviour & did my best to lead by example & treat her with the love she'd never had. No that doesn't mean I wanted to be with her rather I treated her lovingly as one would any other sick human being. At the time I honestly didn't think I expected anything in return & ya know what, I'm unsure it's wrong for me not to expect the level of abuse I would later receive in return.
Her dishonesty was so deep seeded it was frightening. I remember laying there on my back naked stiff as a board as she proceeded to grind her pussy up & down my cock. As I knew the law, have respect for myself & others, & she'd verbally told me countless times she "doesn't want to have sex as she's saving herself for marriage" - I was petrified to move a millimetre. Of course, slowly but surely she started lowering herself onto my cock, before gasping & pretending to be all shocked & saying "was that in?" in an overdramatised manner. I though to myself - "are you fucking kidding?". However, I let it slide the first time. Then sure enough, within minutes once again, in exactly the same manner she gave a few grinds before lowering herself back onto my cock, taking a good three quarters of a length & then in an ever poorer overdramatised manner gasping & pretending to be shocked saying "was that in?" as it was some kind of accident. I responded by calling her straight out on her shit along the lines of "Fuck off? Who are you trying to convince me or you? We both know what you're doing. If you wan't to use me to explore yourself that's fine. But before this goes any further I want verbal consent to make it clear that that's what you're doing!!!" Now, after sleeping with countless women - this is the one & only time I have ever slapped with someone who was so dangerously fucked in the head that I felt the need to demand verbal consent prior to allowing them to sit on my cock. Under normal circumstances I'd have never told a soul. However, I was right about how dangerous Rosie was & she has left me no choice but to tell the world every detail of her psychopathic little life of lies.
Of course, once that was cleared up & I had verbal consent - it didn't take long for her to realise that it's great fun to sit on a nice fat throbbing cock. Shock horror, sex wasn't this big bad thing her religious mates who'd never had sex had told her. Rosie became obsessed with sex but to be honest aside from having a decent arse she was pretty shit in bed. Firstly my cock was too large for her abnormally shallow vagina which was a pain. However, to make things worse Rosie was also the most selfish lazy fuck I'd ever had. Seriously, you'd make the fugally cunt blow & she'd just want to role over & go to sleep.
From there, as Rosie was so excited that she wanted to tell her best friend but could bring herself to it took me months of encouragement to convince her that if her best mate disowns her for having sex then she's probably not your best mate. Rosie wasn't very smart like that.
Despite struggling to maintain healthy boundaries in refusing to submit to Rosies delusional religious based ideas of a relationship I foolishly allowed her to become one of the closest people in my life. Rosie was a year behind in our Social Work degrees.
Although I didn't really have time on top of my studies I agreed to enter the Latino Grooves Bachata Competition with Rosie in September 2009. Neither of us really knew Bachata but I'd picked a few things up from Rue & we learned bits & pieces off the internet. I took it far more serious than Rosie in terms of paying respect to the music as someone-else's artwork & the style of dance itself. I remember Rosie asked Julia to "help" us with the introduction & Julia not listening to what I was trying to say about the song Aventuras' Los Infieles being about an affair & the mood. Eventually Julia got it through her thick fucken head that the soulless garbage she was trying to suggest was completely unaligned with the theme & mood of the song. Fuck it was frustrating.
Not having money for rehearsal space was an issue. However, we got around that by driving up the exit of an old two story city carpark which had a nice polished concrete surface which kinda added to the underdog nature of the story. Oh, Except the fact that Rosie was from Burnside & had a MacBook her parents bought her to film our rehearsals on which was handy. However, the footage of predominately my choreography (a of only limited footage of me dancing in existence at the time) would later become a tool of manipulation that Rosie held hostage whilst her & Latino Grooves Staff gaslighted me sabotaged my Social Work career & reputation within the dance community: Choreography Footage that Rosie Bourne Held Hostage
Of course, my parents, aka Mum & Wal were at the competition proud & supportive as always. The sad thing is Rosie's parents have such little interest in their children that in the whole time I knew her they never once bothered to go see her dance. All of which I never understood & used as excuses for why she was such a mental case. I'm unsure if this is the version taken by Mum & Wal but a video of the actual performance can be seen here Mark Parker & Rosie Bourne, Latino Grooves' Bachata Competition
The entire competition was a shit show. As only one professional couple entered Julia Gonzales included them in the amateur heat. However, what was far worse than that was the fact that Julia changed the score card in Latino Grooves Bachata Competition September 2009. Everyone who saw the performances agreed that Rosie & I won hands down, which was obvious as Beck rocked up off her face & they danced their entire routine out of time. However, Julia Gonzales wanted her "students" (who were almost immediately after teachers) to win entry into the National Salsa Competition which was part of the prize. How Julia achieved this was by changing the score on mine & Rosies score card down from a 9 to an 8 then went over it to make it look like it was changed up from a 7 to an 8. The score cards were originally intended to be ours to keep with personal feedback from interstate & possibly international judges for us to apply in improving our dancing. However, when I questioned the obvious alteration on the score Julia snatched the scorecard out of my hand & backed into the green room saying "it's my score card".
Some time after the competition Julia Gonzales asked Rosie to teach for Latino Groves Dance Studio. I was uncomfortable with this due to the fact that I knew Julia Gonzales was a fake toxic dishonest manipulative cunt which was exactly why kept my distance from her from the moment she stepped foot in Adelaide. Julia oozed pretence & was obviously a dangerously fake gold digger who knew she didn't have a hope in hell of making it in Sydney & took a free ride Hugo's cock in securing her position as co-owner of Latino Grooves Dance Studio. Many were concerned with Julia's fake narcissistic nature from the moment she stepped into Adelaides Latin Dance Community & her insidious business nature has arguably contributed to the segregation & drastic decline in the overall standard of Latin Dance in Adelaide over the past decade or so. Her insidious business tactics have also been known over the years to also include different ways & means of slowing students learning, teaching poor technique & roping people into performances so that she can milk as much money as possible out of them.
However, although I wasn't comfortable with Julia's fake toxicity - it was not my place to choose Rosies "friends". Although I still maintained my distance & was busy with Uni etc. I couldn't help but become increasingly uncomfortable the more I learned of the lack of ethics of the studio once Rosie stated teaching there. It used to also be a pain in the arse as once Rosie became a member of Latino Grooves staff she wan't allowed to attend other dance companies social events which will become relevant later in the story when they coincidentally started attending other schools weekly socials whilst gaslighting me.
No matter how hard I tried it was impossible to keep healthy boundaries with Rosie. This was particularly challenging when it came to her delusional religious ideas of traditional patriarchal relationship & trying to impose gender roles upon me that I didn't want anything to do with. Expectations like me having to choose a restaurant as I'm the man, etc. One minute we'd have these feminists based discussions about unhealthy outdated gender-roles & she'd simply nod her head & agree. Then the next we'd end up in arguments because she would impose expectations on me to fuck around choosing restaurants despite being well aware that I was busy in the middle of uni assignments. I always made it clear I was happy to take her anywhere she wanted to go, but no, even though Rosie was studying Social Work she was fixated on imposing her mental case religious gender roles on others.
I made it clear that my career that I was putting my heart & soul into was my number one priority with the exception of children & that although I was willing to be friends with benefits I didn't have time, resources or want to be in a relationship prior to my career.
Two particular occasions come to mind where I assertively pulled her up on her actions yet remained oblivious to her complete lack of conscience or consideration for anyone other than herself. The first of these was when I invested my scholarship on a $1700 iMac to get me through my studies. This was a huge investment for me that I certainly didn't take lightly. However, the first thing Rosie did when she saw it was, without asking, jump on & start smashing the keyboard like it was a piece of junk that had been laying around her burnside home for a decade or so. The second time I bought a $1700 mattress & she immediately raced up & started jumping on it like a child. I was completely dumfounded on both occasions as she was well aware that these were absolutely enormous investments for me. Growing up with nothing & in environments where you respect others belongings or you learn the hard way - I couldn't comprehend her behaviour. I guess that's what happens when you grow up in Burnside with parents who are loaded & don't love you, & you get to smash peoples belongings up with no consequences. Or is complete lack of consequences merely female privilege based on a culture of cherry picking equality rather than aiming to close the gender gaps across the board such as in our prison populations or workplace fatalities.
Feb 2010. It's actually interesting looking at the difference in body language of Rosie in this photo. My family are the most easy going loving family out & are hardly threatening in any way shape or form.
Constantly dealing with a compulsive lair & trying to maintain healthy boundaries certainly wore me down. A great example of the psychology I was dealing with is when I told her for lunch down at the docks at Glenelg. When we arrived they asked where we'd like to sit. i said it's a nice day out side how about we sit out by the yachts. She relied "lets's sit inside". annoyed I bit my tongue & sat down. A few minutes later she says "it's a nice day how come we're not sitting outside?". After stating the obvious that I'd suggested that she turned around & said "But I thought you wanted to sit inside" to which I replied "if I wanted to sit inside - I would have said I wanted to sit inside". I don't understand the psychology, I think it's something along the lines of because she constantly lies, she's thinks everyone does & then interprets what people say as meaning the opposite. I don't know, the point is it gets tiring dealing with such a mental case.
I didn't want a bar of Rosie's delusional religious ideas of a relationship & tried to be clear about that from the start, in a polite way without going into the reasons for our incompatibility. However, in ways being too burned out with University & busy to look elsewhere kept me in this unhealthy fuck-buddy arrangement with a fugally mental case cunt who I had every reason to know had no conscience. However, I felt sorry for it.
At this stage I was completely unaware that Rosie secretly hated me & planed to abuse her position within the dance company to sabotage my career & everything dear to me by turning the staff & as many people against me within the mutual recreational arts & social work community as possible, whilst she gaslighted & inflicted extreme psychological abuse upon me throughout the final 6mths of my Social Work degree. See Universal Asylum YouTube: Standing up to Latino Grooves [2019]